It's 2009 & I feel no different than 2008. Right now I am stressing out over rent. It's the same thing every month. New job does not pay for everything and my folks have to help. And here is the drama. Every month they ask how much, go through the whole song & dance of something has to change (it did I got a job). And I ask what? I can't make my job give me more money & my rent is not going to change. So exactly what is going to change? I am looking for a part-time job but hey I work in Unemployment. I know how bad it is out there. Very bad. Don't get me wrong I know how special and privileged I am to have my family and their contributions, but dang man...is that really necessary? To make me feel worse than I already do?
I am just tired of being stressed out. I really believed when I got a job a lot of my stresses would leave but that's not the case. I now have this awful habit of biting down on my teeth for hours. I could not figure out why I had so many headaches. (I never get headaches, just migraines.) Funny this is I didn't do any of this when I was unemployed. Sure I worried but it didn't physically manifest besides the weight loss. I am one of those people who doesn't eat when stressed. I know opposite of a lot of people.
And let's not talk about my lack of social life. None. Nada. And I really want to date now. I couldn't say that a year ago. Did not want to be bothered. Now that I do....& no one wants to be bothered with me! Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a happier note.....
Welcome to the World Courtney Reese!!! (My newest cousin!)
That's all folks....me & my friend Johnny are going to reacquianted.
3 comments:
I kinda know what you mean. I really did feel different with the changing over, but now I think that's because I was on a mini-vacation! Now that its time to go back to work tomorrow, I feel like I'm reverting to my old, sad, self. I guess we both have work to do, huh?
girl keep trucking...there is light at the end of the tunnel...when you have done all that you can do, get down on your knees and let God do the rest.
I have seen very scary days..check out some of my older posts... there have been days when all I have had in my house to eat for me and my child was crackers.
i have 2 degrees and can't find a decent paying job... massah thought 12 bucks was more than generous... and now that he sees that i am ready to leave he has up'd my pay but believe me when i tell you peace of mind is worth more than some crumbs.
keep the faith
@ toni...thanks girl...I believe we are traveling a similar road. I am working on seeing a different day each day...I hope you can too!
@ Truthz...I will honestly say it is sometimes hard to get on my knees. I feel like a failure and know one wants to hear and that is due to what has been drilled into my head as a child. I wish you the best. Not luck, but the best that you deserve.
You too Toni...we all need the best of life!
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